The lockdown was tolerable, the restrictions on social interactions manageable. It was the shopping that hurt, interminable queues, rationing, stress inducing behaviour from other shoppers.

So I decided to embrace it on my terms. Castor oil tastes awful and works fast, unavoidable voiding inevitable. I knew what I wanted from the shop, where to find it, could normally get in and out in 20 minutes, everything paid for. So two quick gulps of castor oil, the taste washed out by the contents of my insulated coffee cup and I got out of my car, found a trolley, joined the queue to get in.

I didn’t know if I’d make it. I didn’t care. The diapers would keep me safe, and if they let me finish my shop in time, I’d be home long before anything happened that would make people realise how ineffective their face masks were.

If..