“Does my bum look big in this?”

Pete sighed. The eternal girlfriend trap. He played it safe, went with “You look cute and sexy in that.”

Clara smiled happily at him. “You can’t tell?”

Pete grinned back. “No,” he confirmed, “but it’ll swell when wet, so everybody will be able to tell.”

Clara stared at him in shock. “It swells up?”

Pete nodded in reply. “Oh yes. Your bum’s going to look very big before I change you.”