“The victim was found lying in a pool of their own urine; they’d been put in a baby’s diaper but it seems it became saturated, with a resultant leak that surrounded the body.
“Cause of death is asphyxiation. The pathologist has posited that the loss of oxygen arose from the pressure of the cord intended to hold taut the side of the child’s play pen that had collapsed around the deceased.”
The coroner paused, looked out at the journalists frantically scribbling notes as he spoke.
“While the mittens prevented the deceased using their hands, and were both locked at the wrist to prevent removal and also fastened at the waist to restrict movement, this clearly inhibiting the deceased’s ability to escape a collapsing play pen, no evidence has been provided to suggest that this was not consensual activity.”
The coroner consulted his notes once more.
“Indeed, the pathologist has noted the signs of sexual arousal in the deceased. While I understand that the police have arrested the partner on suspicion of wilful neglect and this case must proceed in accordance with the law I see no evidence of foul play.
“Verdict: Death by Misadventure. Next!”