Dwayne shook, tucked and zipped up before stepping into the corridor, where he found Fiona waiting. “All yours,” he said graciously.
Fiona walked into the bathroom and saw the seat of the toilet covered in drops of liquid, while an actual puddle had formed at its base. She turned on her heel and strode after Dwayne, using her hand on his shoulder to stop him.
“What?” he asked, but got no further
“Let’s see,” said Fiona, putting forefinger on the held up thumb of her other hand. “You didn’t lift the seat, you didn’t wipe it afterwards, you didn’t even hit the bloody toilet, you left a puddle on the floor and, you didn’t wash your hands afterwards.”
Fiona by now had ticked off her whole hand, which she held aggressively with its back to Dwayne’s face. He stepped back, a mix of confusion, surprise and fear at her aggressive stance.
“What?” he asked, but got no further
“Remember the six Ps?” asked Fiona.
“What?” he asked, but got no further
“Proper planning prevents poor piss performance,” stated Fiona.
“Proper plan.. what?” he asked, but got no further.
Fiona dragged him down the corridor back into the bathroom, told him to wash his hands, stood there waiting while he did so, blushing in embarrassment at how he was being treated.
“Hey!”, he complained as Fiona glowered at him, “I’m not a child.”
Fiona raised her eyebrows but agreed with him. “No,” she said, “children know not to piss on the floor.”
She beckoned to Dwayne, turned and left the room. He meekly followed her, experience telling him quiet obeisance was the best option when she was in this sort of mood. Entering the bedroom he saw Fiona reaching into the back of her wardrobe.
“I’m fed up with cleaning the bathroom every time you use it,” Fiona told Dwayne, “so I’ve done some proper planning.”
She turned to him, held up something that he recognised, but had never before seen in an adult size.
“What?” he asked, but got no further
“Remember the six Ps?” asked Fiona again.
“Proper planning..” started Dwayne, but got no further.
“No,” said Fiona, “Not for you.” She walked up to him, undid his belt and tugged down his trousers and underwear while he stared at her in confusion.
“What?” he asked, but got no further
A strong hand pushed Dwayne backwards onto the bed, his legs splayed as he tried to balance himself, letting Fiona step between them, lift them up the outside of her arms and rest his calves on her shoulders. It wasn’t a dignified view but gave her the needed leverage and access to firmly control the situation. Control Dwayne.
She reinforced that control with a chilling confirmation, “For you the six Ps are ‘Prepared Padding Provides Proper Piss Protection’.”