Hello class, it’s lovely to see you all, and aren’t those diapers fluffy. Oh Deirdre, yours is leaking, waddle off to the nurse and get it seen to, there’s a darling. Now, today’s lesson is going to be fun and you’ll all enjoy it. I was told it’s too early for some of you but I know you’re all keen and I know you’ll all do your best.

No, of course you won’t get in trouble if you fail. No, you only get spankings for pulling hair, naughty language and if you ask really nicely for one. Not being able to get through the lesson just means you’re not ready yet, and we understand that.

Now, Miss Palmers has prepared a nice drink for you all. Isn’t that lovely of her. Everybody say thank you. One, two, three, Thank You Miss Palmers.

No, it’s not in a bottle. I know, isn’t this exciting! That’s today’s lesson: We’re all going to learn how to drink from a sippy cup. Now, as you see it has big handles on the side…